data463

My take on Star Trek

2009-05-21T18:38:12Z

Nuchty asked me what I thought of it, and I replied within the comments section of my last post. However, the weight of my reaction; the way it so completely and remoreselessly affected my life (I still get phantom pains in my inner child, even now, 2 weeks after watching), I felt the need to devote a post to it.

I thought the movie-- specifically J.J. Abrams and his gang of miscreants-- snuck into my bedroom while I was quietly and comfortably sleeping, and proceeded to rape me mercilessly. I thought that every deviation, no matter how slight, was done with the sole purpose of completely destroying my ego, psyche, and self-esteem. I don't understand why they couldn't have the rest of the surviving cast reprise their roles instead of this baby-faced brood of 90210 rejects. A little pancake stage makeup does wonders. They could have easily made Shatner look fit and twentysomething, but nooooo! Had to hire Edward Cullen from Twilight to play my beloved Kirk. I think this movie mercilessly stomps me in the nutsack every time I think of it. It's not canon. It's not Star Trek. Is pure dreck that should never have been allowed to touch celluloid. It's pure sell-out garbage. I hope they all burn in the deepest, darkest, lonliest pits of hell for ever deigning to concieve such a hackneyed, C-standard piece of gutter filth and applying the holy and most sacred seal of Star Trek upon it.

Just kidding. I loved it. :D It wasn't perfect, but when the credits rolled and Andrew Courage's original (albeit beefed up) theme played, I shed tears. Seriously. The future of Trek is preserved. Looking forward to the next and next and next and next (ad infinitum) adventure with this new take on the old crew. :D

It's aliiiiivvveee

2009-05-20T07:59:28Z

....joooouuurrrnnnaalll!

I can't believe my account still exists. I 'm still primarily a Facebooker with some MySpacing on the side, but... erm... Hi, y'all!/..?

My D-I-V-O-R-C-E...

2008-02-02T01:07:59Z

...became final today. While I don't plan on letting my hair grow out long, slicking it down my face, and taking incredibly dumb pictures at weird angles with a cellphone, the world has gone... monochromatic for me.

This doesn't make me happy. This won't make anyone involved happy. However, it's done and it's time to move on.

Full Circle

2007-12-23T09:19:57Z

And so, with this entry, I bid adieu to the online world. In just a few hours from now, I will board an airplane that will take me to Denver, CO, and connect with another airplane that will take me home to Atlanta, GA. At first, this trip was just going to be a Christmas thing, but after giving it several days of grueling thought, I've come to the conclusion that it's best for both KJ and I if I just leave for good. We're not divorced yet, but it's a foregone conclusion. I'll contact a lawyer and find out if I absolutely have to be present for the court date. I imagine since I'm not contesting, and I'm basically handing over everything I own to Kim, save for the clothes in my suitcase, it shouldn't be too big a deal.

I really don't know what else to say, other than a general goodbye to all who happen across this LJ that know me.

And KJ... if you happen to read this, I will always love you, and I will never love another with such intensity, fire, and passion as I did you. Though we may never see eachother again, I want you to know that I will never forget you, and I wish you all the happiness, joy, love, and security that I could not provide you. May you find someone who will give you all of these things and more, and may you never shed a tear in pain again. I love you.

Peace out, all.

Jonathan

LAWLZ!

2007-09-06T10:42:56Z

Just kidding! Psyche! What was I thinking. *LOL* *shakes head* /wrists

One small flicker

2007-09-05T10:53:25Z

Back before KJ and I got married, I wrote her a poem called "One Small Flicker". It was done up as a picture in Photoshop and saved on my old Warp1 account. I wonder if Travis still has the drive(s) from the server box, with all the content on it... I wonder if I could get a copy of all my old stuff I put on there. That would be cool.

Something else that's cool is that KJ wants to come back home.

I'm cautious but optimistic. She could still very well leave for good. Things are uncomfortable at her parents'. Things are comfortable here. Baby steps?

Maybe someday's come...

Let's give it up for the Fat Lady!

2007-08-29T10:54:37Z

This past weekend marked my 4 year anniversary from leaving my home in Georgia to come up here to Washington to be with the one I love. This past month saw the rapid decline of a marriage that was celebrated having lasted 2 years on July 26. Today is the day I declare it officially dead. KJ pronounced it dead long ago, and that's her call. But this is my LJ, and right now the only person that matters is me.

It's done. Finis. Over. The divorce isn't final legally, but it's long since been final emotionally for at least 50% of the people involved... until now. Up to this point, I'd held up hope. I fooled myself into thinking I was part of a bluff that needed to be called. I played that hand as long as I could, until finally (drawing this metaphor way beyond its limits), I realized I was betting against a Royal Flush.

No matter how much YOU want to work things out, you can't do a damn thing if the other person has called it quits. It's simply impossible. Now, I could go on crying about how much I love her, miss her, wish we could work things out, regret the things I've done to put her on this path, regret the things I've done since she started this path, despite the fact that there were good, honest intentions behind them, but... well, okay, I will.

KJ, I love you. Despite how much you hate me now, I love you. I love the person I fell in love with. I love the person that once looked to me for strength. I love the person who rescued me from a hell of mediocrity, only for you to be left in your own hell of the same. I miss you. God how I miss you. If there was only a way we could wipe the slate clean, and restart from the point we were just 4 short years ago. I'd practically sell my soul. I can't say I would ACTUALLY sell my soul, because I believe in the kinds of things whose existence would mean my burning for eternity. Call me small minded, but... ah, fuck it. I regret failing you in the way you percieved. Yes, I was bullheaded, not seeing the forest through the trees, and it sucks beyond measure that my realization of this comes too late. I regret being a hardass and an asshole since you left. I was only trying to call the bluff I mention above. Now I see there never was a bluff, and I'm just a plain asshole.

I'm sorry, KJ. I really am. I am going to miss you so much as I plow through life. Maybe I'll find someone else. Even still, they will never be you. I have a confession to make, KJ. Even though I've been in a couple of relationships in my life, the one I had with you was the only one that I truly felt loved and expressed true love. You are the only person among the so very few women in my life prior who made me truly whole. This is why the hole in me now hurts so much. It's like I finally tasted what it's like to experience TRUE love, only to have it snatched away, and yeah, it's my own damned fault.

Please be happy, KJ. Please find yourself.

data463 @ 2007-08-12T05:58:00

2007-08-12T12:54:07Z

I said in my last entry that divorce fucking sucks. Yes. It. Does.

BUT...

There's always a light. There's always a time to let go and let things take their course. I know what I want, and I know what I don't want, and to be perfectly honest, the ball isn't in my court right now.

So I'm going to smile. I'm going to live like there's no tomorrow (CLICHE ALLERT! WOOOP! WOOOP!). I'm going to shine, and maybe, just maybe a little bit of that light will spill to the one I love. Until then, I can't let life pass me by and be all gloomy.

As my mood says, I am peaceful. Hopeful, yes, but mostly peaceful.

I can smile, and it feels good when I do it.

Rending

2007-08-11T20:45:16Z

Divorce fucking sucks. *sigh*

Time.

2004-11-10T01:07:12Z

I'm still at a loss... I still pretty much feel the same as I did a few hours ago when I made my previous post. I'm split. Part of me is in a desperate, hold on at any cost mode, and another part is shrugging, saying "Fuck it. It's not worth it." Always before, I'd lean towards the desperate side, afraid to lose out on what I've fooled myself into thinking was a "good thing". Caught up in that emotional struggle, I'd overlook the simple fact that a person HAS t obe selfish and look out for number one sometimes.

Every time I offer up the benefit of the doubt, my nose is bloodied. Every time. I can't sit back and hope things will be okay, because as long as there's a time when my back is turned, a knife is going to be plunged deeply. Somehow, I should be feeling hate, but I don't. I'm more indifferent than anything else. I guess I'm used to it, and of course, I'm not really all that surprised it happened.

But still, I wonder, just what is the resolution to this? Right now, I see none. That's mainly why I'm pounding this entry out. Gotta vent... gotta talk to someone, even if it's just a web page. All my friends have proven they are of far less patience than I. Every one I know who I've confided in has told me it's not worth it-- that I should just go; that my holding out hope is only setting myself up for greater hurt in the long run.

Is it denial that makes me choose to hang on? Am I making excuses for myself? That's what I'm being told, at least. I just wish I had a clear answer. Lacking one, for better or for worse, is what's keeping me numb right now.

Here we go again

2004-11-09T21:14:43Z

Once again, my world has been turned upside down because of lies, secrets, and other nasty things that go bump when I'm not looking. Of course, I should have known it would happen. It's been 2 months or so since this problem has been... well, a problem. And now, I'm back to feeling like my life is slipping away from me while my back is turned. I've got to go to work and sit there wondering just what in the hell is going on at home while I'm away.

I can't take this shit any more. Promises to never let it happen again are absolutely worthless to me. Apologies run cold with no meaning, because I KNOW it will continue. Reason and logic say that I should just pack up and tip the fuck out the door, and to be quite honest, I'm not so quick to dismiss that notion at this point.

I just don't know what the fuck else to do.

Well, if they'd rather die, then they best get on with it and decrease the surplus population!

2004-11-03T16:39:56Z

With George W. Bush's re-election,there are many people who are despondent and depressed. You feel like society has failed you and your ideals. Likewise, a Republican-controlled Congress means that there's little chance that those policies and ideas put forth by the president that you don't agree with will be shot down.

In short, you feel like there's no reason to go on. I can sympathise with you, but only so far. We Republicans who lived through Clinton's presidency-- particularly through his first term, when the Democrats controlled the House and Senate-- thought it was pretty bad, but we persevered. We lived our lives, knowing that our first duty was to ourselves and our families, and ultimately we maintained control of our destinies.

However, I can understand how the Liberal branch of the democratic party, and those who side with it, are feeling there's no use.

Take heart. There is help. Much like an unintentionally pregnant woman has the right to choose to kill her unborn baby, YOU have the right to end your own suffering! Commit suicide. As the song goes, Suicide is painless-- that is, as long as you've got enough Vodka flowing in your veins. There are several ways to do it, and I encourage you to try as many as it takes.

1. Toaster in the tub. Simply fill your tub with water and sit in it. Take a regular kitchen toaster, press the thingamajig down, and drop into the water. If that doesn't work, turn on the hair dryer and toss it in, too.

2. The Superman dive. Nothing fancy here; just find a high place to jump from and hard place to land. Buildings with stories in the double digits work best here.

3. I can't believe I drank the whole thing! Turn up a bottle of bleach and chase it with Drano

4. Slice & Dice. Razor-assisted suicide is kind of touch and go, and really tests your dedication towards ending your life. Reason being is that it can hurt really bad before you're terminal, and it's easy to stop. Therefore, I recommend slashing your wrists, then immediately inhaling paint fumes. This way, you'll be so loopy, you won't have the presence of mind to stop the bleeding. And remember, as the warning goes, it's down the aisle, not across the street. Place the corner of the blade in the dead center of your wrist, press as hard as you can, and rip down all the way to your elbow. Doing both wrists is idea, but you may not have the strength in your other hand, after laying its feeding arteries bare. In that case, go for your jugular. WARNING-- This method is messy. But who cares? You'll be dead!

Be creative and come up with your own way. If the Kurt Cobain method of escaping personal responsibility is your cup of tea, go for it! Drug overdoses are nice, too. Sort of a self-repairing problem, there. Regardless of the method you choose, please do it quickly. Many taxpaying people are depending on you to bow out of the mortal plane, so you won't end up a tax-burden on those of us who are masters of our own lives, destinies, and happiness, regardless of who is President.

And if you really, really don't want to kill yourselves, Canada is always an option.

Ya hear that, Alec Baldwin?

Thanks!

Oooh! Oh! My turn! Me me me! jumps up and down

2004-08-25T02:53:24Z

I'm quite sure everyone with a LJ or blog has written an entry blasting the abhorrent spelling, syntax, and grammar which seems to have infused the net over the last... oh, I dunno... ever since it became mainstream? Well, this is my turn.

Back before services such as AOL made the net the virtual hangout of Everyman, it was a haven for geeks and nerds (to which I proudly proclaim allegiance). Back before l337 5p3@k, before ebonics-in-text was cool, yo; there were the few, the proud, the pioneers! People who, among other things, were good at the English language (and before anyone hits me for being America-centric, the Internet DID get its start here, and the early users were mostly Americans, so...), and had the ability to clearly and intelligently communicate with one another in the form of text.

But then, a paradigm shift occurred. Online services grew out of the need to capitalize on the so-called Information Superhighway. Their goals were simple. Dumb down the net into a sellable package which any idiot could understand and naturally pay regular money to use. And so, the breeding grounds for Internet Asshattedness and Ass Gasketry were born-- the cybersewers which stewed the virtual primordial ooze that makes up the intellectually challenged who work among us today. Yes, I'm talking about those Idiot Incubators known as... the AOL Chat Rooms!

Many users of traditional Internet Service Providers, such as Earthlink or local phone services, are lucky enough to not have had the displeasure of seeing these places. However, many people-- myself included-- have had to use AOL for whatever reason. Perhaps there wasn't any other local service. Perhaps you were so broke that in order to sustain your net addiction, you strung together several 45 day free trials using various friends and family members' credit card numbers. For those of us who have been to this mountaintop, the picture is a bleak one. It's like Bizzarro World, where the normal is made abnormal. The... horrent is made abhorrent. Err.. is horrent a word?

Take the following exchange:
USER1: sup kk? u going 2 paly evarqest 2nite?
USER2: no lolers im playng GTA vise citey u evar beet it?

English teachers of the world, tremble with fear! This is the generation who will one day become our doctors, our lawyers, and our government leaders! Can you imagine the day when the President of the United States of America, makes the decision to unleash the full might of our nuclear arsenal on another nation because of whatever situation it was that led to it? Can you just picture the absolute horror of the massive death count? Where, in the past, the leader of our nation would have the decency to speak words of regret and remorse over the horror unleashed, a president from the AOL generation would probably point, laugh, and say "PWN3D!!111!1one"

But it doesn't end there. After a decade or so or mainstreamed net access, the generation raised with a mouse in one hand has lost its ability to spell or use proper syntax. Today, pluralization is accomplished by indicating possession. Blue skies have given way to bl00 sky's.

Some asshats Think That Capitalizing Every Word In A Sentence Is Cool And Correct. Read A Fucking Book, And Report Back To Me On That, Okay Einstein?

some think that punctuation and capitalization are optional and have mastered the art of the runon sentence and cant think of other ways to express how much they are a bunch of idiot's lololololers

And then... my God... Spelling. Simple words with some people are impossible. The great internet satirist JeffK of Something Awful dot com pretty much covers the bases here.

My questions are thus: Is it a lack of caring by the teachers of our youth to instill a sense of pride in the ability of students to write and represent themselves? Is it the apathy of parents, figuring that if their kid is on the computer, he's obviously doing his homework? How long before the blatant bastardization of the English language becomes a part of the language itself? It's already happening. The hack-job of speech known as "ebonics" or hip-hop slang is being touted as legitimate. How long before we see it being taught for foreign language credits?

To wrap this all up, I just want to say that I realize poor language skills on the internet really isn't going to affect my life in the grand scheme of things, but I wish to God people would take a little pride in themselves and make an effort to not perpetuate the slacker image that has been placed on net culture.

w00t! Here I am!

2004-02-18T16:11:25Z

So I got a LiveJournal. Yay. Expect my inaugural entry to creat a bit o' controversy. What, you might ask? Isn't this the inaugural entry? Yeah, well, it ain't official, and I just got off of a 12 hour graveyard shift, so :P!